She was exactly what anyone would want in a Mom. I know. She will always be a mom to me in my heart. When I moved to Texas, leaving all my family behind.. it was Aunt Rene that I wanted to come home to. Without her, the place where I was born and raised is never going to be the same. She gave me joy. She listened to me and supported me no matter what.
When anyone said to me.."Your just like your Aunt Rena", I smiled. To me, that was an honor. I could never really be that... I could never measure up to the woman she was.
She went home to be with the Lord on Thursday, December 9, 2010. I will regret til the day I die that didn't come home to see her before. I miss her terribly. All the opportunities I had to call to talk to her can never be made up, cause she is no longer only a phone call away.
I thought that when my dad died that I couldn't feel pain again as deep as that. But I was wrong.
You know, it still really hasn't set in.. the pain.. the loss... I know it's coming. The setting part is the hardest.
Everything I did, I would think to myself "is this how Aunt Rene would do it?", or "I bet Aunt Rene would do this".
I can hear her laugh, I can hear her voice... when she felt down and worried she still trusted in the Lord and she reminded me of that everytime we talked.
I will never again get to sit across from her and eat a pizza. I will never again taste her pies or cakes...
I will never again see her joy in giving.
Only I will probably understand the following list... but if you said "Aunt Rene" this is what I will always remember.. not necessarily in the order I write
... Chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate
...Coffee (black)
...BC powders, lol! Lord, how she could take BC is beyond me... however, everytime I chew up a couple Bayer Asprins... I think of Aunt Rene and her BC powders (I guess there really isn't much difference is there)
...Pound cake... on a couple of occasions she would give me a whole loaf. I cherished that.
...Brownstone cake... my favorite.. with that buttery caramely icing... She would make that for my birthdays sometimes
...Pecan Pie.. no one and I mean NO one can touch an Aunt Rene pecan pie
...Clorax and ammonia
...Fresh ironed T-shirts
...love for Children
...Love for the Lord and for church and family
...Uno, lots and lots of Uno
...Buttons. I may never be able to look at my can of sorted buttons again..
...Pants, not skirts... I think Aunt Rene pioneered the wearing of pants to church
...Trips to the Malls
...Bojangles country ham biscuits. Better make sure that ham is fat free and cooked good and done
...Birthdays... she ALWAYS remembered mine even though I forgot hers a lot.
...Paula.. oh how she loved her daughter.. Best friends... I understand that.. I feel the same way about mine.. to have a daughter who is also a friend is a little piece of Heaven on Earth.. I don't care what Dr. Phil says about mothers trying to be their daughters friend.
...Vacation Bible School
There is a lot I've missed about my dear Aunt because I've been away. I regret that.
She has a precious husband, Uncle Pete. He's the best. I pray for him. I know that he will miss her terribly. And Paula. You are strong. You made your mom so proud. And she will always live here with us in you. You know how much I loved your mom, and I love you like a sister. I'm glad we found a way to stay in touch before all this and may we never, ever lose touch again.
So, goodbye, Aunt Rene. My heart is breaking. I really don't want to let you go. I don't believe I will ever be able to. I can't wait to get to Heaven to see you. I hope my dad was there to greet you. I have now lost two of the most important, most influential people in my life. It will never, ever be the same.
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