I'm feeling a little unsettled today. And I think to myself.. wouldn't it be great if I could write exactly as I think when I think it? I mean, I have a really great train of thought but I start losing the thread as I try to put on paper (or screen).

So, I end up going random...

My daughter is leaving for Russia this weekend. Part of me is very excited for her and a little envious while another part of me wants to scream.... "Don't Go!". And then I tell myself that, seriously, the security in Russia is probably light years ahead of the US and she'll be as safe there as she is in Austin, Texas. It's just that... it's sooooo far away. Funny, how you never really want to do phone chats until you can't do it. I thank God for the internet. I know she'll only be a text message away, and with the webcam I will probably see her more than I do now.

I'm very proud of my daughter, if not a little jealous. She's intelligent, pretty and extremely talented in so many ways. She battles her own demons and struggles to maintain normalcy in her life, yet to look at her you'd never know the battles she's fought. She'll do great in Russia.

I get to keep the dog, lol! Cooper puppy... my grandson. I love him. Probably the biggest lap dog on the planet. He goal in life is to make you feel loved and protected and he plays well with others. His Uncles, Hawky and Tucker enjoy his company.. especially Tucker. It'll take me a couple days to get use to tripping over 3 dogs as I try to hurry and get ready for work in the mornings.. juggling who goes out, who goes up and who gets to follow me around hoping I'll drop part of the lunch I'm packing.

Life is so short. Enjoy every day to the fullest and thank God for the life you've been given to do it!

My Aunt Rene

I don't know where to start...

She was exactly what anyone would want in a Mom. I know. She will always be a mom to me in my heart. When I moved to Texas, leaving all my family behind.. it was Aunt Rene that I wanted to come home to. Without her, the place where I was born and raised is never going to be the same. She gave me joy. She listened to me and supported me no matter what.

When anyone said to me.."Your just like your Aunt Rena", I smiled. To me, that was an honor. I could never really be that... I could never measure up to the woman she was.

She went home to be with the Lord on Thursday, December 9, 2010. I will regret til the day I die that didn't come home to see her before. I miss her terribly. All the opportunities I had to call to talk to her can never be made up, cause she is no longer only a phone call away.

I thought that when my dad died that I couldn't feel pain again as deep as that. But I was wrong.

You know, it still really hasn't set in.. the pain.. the loss... I know it's coming. The setting part is the hardest.

Everything I did, I would think to myself "is this how Aunt Rene would do it?", or "I bet Aunt Rene would do this".

I can hear her laugh, I can hear her voice... when she felt down and worried she still trusted in the Lord and she reminded me of that everytime we talked.

I will never again get to sit across from her and eat a pizza. I will never again taste her pies or cakes...

I will never again see her joy in giving.

Only I will probably understand the following list... but if you said "Aunt Rene" this is what I will always remember.. not necessarily in the order I write

... Chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate

...Coffee (black)

...BC powders, lol! Lord, how she could take BC is beyond me... however, everytime I chew up a couple Bayer Asprins... I think of Aunt Rene and her BC powders (I guess there really isn't much difference is there)

...Pound cake... on a couple of occasions she would give me a whole loaf. I cherished that.

...Brownstone cake... my favorite.. with that buttery caramely icing... She would make that for my birthdays sometimes

...Pecan Pie.. no one and I mean NO one can touch an Aunt Rene pecan pie

...Clorax and ammonia

...Fresh ironed T-shirts

...love for Children

...Love for the Lord and for church and family

...Uno, lots and lots of Uno

...Buttons. I may never be able to look at my can of sorted buttons again..

...Pants, not skirts... I think Aunt Rene pioneered the wearing of pants to church

...Trips to the Malls

...Bojangles country ham biscuits. Better make sure that ham is fat free and cooked good and done

...Birthdays... she ALWAYS remembered mine even though I forgot hers a lot.

...Paula.. oh how she loved her daughter.. Best friends... I understand that.. I feel the same way about mine.. to have a daughter who is also a friend is a little piece of Heaven on Earth.. I don't care what Dr. Phil says about mothers trying to be their daughters friend.

...Vacation Bible School

There is a lot I've missed about my dear Aunt because I've been away. I regret that.

She has a precious husband, Uncle Pete. He's the best. I pray for him. I know that he will miss her terribly. And Paula. You are strong. You made your mom so proud. And she will always live here with us in you. You know how much I loved your mom, and I love you like a sister. I'm glad we found a way to stay in touch before all this and may we never, ever lose touch again.

So, goodbye, Aunt Rene. My heart is breaking. I really don't want to let you go. I don't believe I will ever be able to. I can't wait to get to Heaven to see you. I hope my dad was there to greet you. I have now lost two of the most important, most influential people in my life. It will never, ever be the same.

Setting Priority

1. Put together all my closet maid cubes. Install in sewing room. Transfer all the stuff in the buckets and organize them in the new fabric boxes that fit the cubes. Side note: They are so cool. I love green, so I got the spring green colored ones and light blue ones that match the walls and yellow for an extra bright burst of color.

Recover my sewing table to match the colors of the boxes.

2. Start on Christmas projects that I can't mention here since my daughter reads my posts.

3. Get matching fabric to make covers for the dining room furniture.

4. Hang the track lighting in the sewing room.

5. Get a ceiling fan in the little bedroom

6. Get a wall mount TV for the little bedroom

7. Install shelving over the desk in the little bedroom... actually a new desk would be nice. Anything to get rid of that tacky file cabinet That's in there now.

8. Re-cover the dining room chairs.

9. Hang the curtains I brought from North Carolina

10. Re-paint the living room and dining room

11. Re-do the walls in the kitchen

12. Get plywood and mount all the pictures on the wall on that and cover with glass

OK. Brain Break!

Create and Re-Decorate!

I would like it if someone could turn off my over creative brain. But since death seems the only answer to that I think I'll just share my ideas here and maybe once they are written down my brain can let go of them.

Idea one: I've been wanting to decorate the Master bedroom, bath and office. I pretty much knew the color scheme but I didn't want just a boring painted wall. The doors and molding are white which is trendy and I like. However for some reason the people that designed this home thought that the ceiling mould should be a warm cherry finish..... not!!!! So the first thing is to take it down and paint it white to match the rest of the trim. I want to use a warm light olive green semi-gloss paint and painted with shadowing that will make it looks like wood on the bottom half of the wall. Then I will use a flat moulding to separate the top color, which will be a soft Taupe, and the bottom green. Now here's the fun part. I want to take a roll of 4" galvanized flashing, clean the back with vinegar to take off the oils and run it along the top edge of the floor moulding and then another stripe of it running under the edge of the center mould using sticky carpet tape. Using a decorative antique head screw or tacks I will fasten the flashing by applying the hardware every 6" apart, both top and bottom of flashing and maybe in the center to form a diamond pattern. I think it will look better if the center moulding should be finished to match the furniture and will look pretty with the silver flashing and wall colors. I'm going to change the print part of the existing curtains so that they will match a new bedspread. The colors being the greens, deep reds and pewters. Next, the bathroom. Taking down the tacky flat strips that cover the seams in the walls, I will repaper with something that will go with the theme of the bedroom. New white wooden blinds on all windows and a new window treatment over the bathroom window. Also, the addition of mirrored tiles around the garden tub and a new faucet that has a pull-out sprayer built-in in an antique pewter finish. Glass shelves will go over the tub with decorative pewter brackets. I may replace the piece of furniture that holds the towel may be replaced with more glass shelves. I think, that covers most of that. I'm just gonna paint the office in the taupe color and get a nice chair or daybed or small square table and chairs for the empty corner. I already have one feminine suite section in the house.... I'm going for masculine with this design.

That completes transformation number one.

The Bunny and the Cardinal

I was coming to work this morning and saw a bunny and a cardinal (the bird, not the religious kind) sitting across from each other on the road. It got me thinking and this is my thought.....

A cute little cotton-tail bunny and and a beautiful red cardinal met each other on a lonely graveled road one morning. The bunny looked at the cardinal and said, "Oh, what how beautiful you are. I would love to be as red as you. It would make me so happy!". The cardinal puffed up his feathers in pride but then took a real close look at the bunny and noticed his beautiful white fluffy tail and said, "But you have such a beautiful cotton-tail! I would love to have such a wondrous tail as yours. It would make me so happy!". Poof! No sooner than the cardinal said it his feathered tail was replace by a big fluffy white tail and the rabbit's hair was transformed to the most beautiful shade of red.

At this moment a large hawk of grand stature was flying over and seeing the pair swooped down for a quick dinner. The bunny took off, knowing that if he could just get in the brush near-by that the hawk would not be able to see him and he could hide until the danger was past. But because of his beautiful new red color the hawk could easily spot him and picked him up in his claws and carried the bunny away. Also wandering along at that moment was a monstrous tom cat. He spied the odd looking cardinal with the fine fluffy tail. Immediately he jumped at the bird. The poor cardinal tried to fly out of harms way, but because of his new fine tail he was unable to get off the ground and the cat pounced on him and carried him off for his dinner.

The moral of the story is this.

God made us all the way we are for a reason. When you go about trying to be something you weren't intended to be will ultimately be the death of you.

I obviously have an overactive imagination.

Have no clue....

I say, "I have nothing interesting to write about". She says " Just write about whatever you want".

So here is my first attempt at emptying my brain.

I quite understand how your head gets so full of thoughts or ideas and nowhere for it to go... at that moment.

Then when you finally get the time to turn the valve on and release some of that pressure it's not there... dissipated... poof! Where the hell does it go! (I have obviously been working in the plumbing section way to long). So, I am following the advice given and just laying out what's in my head at the moment.... (I guess the funny thing would be to stop here, which would imply that there is nothing in my head. But then, would anyone get the jest)

I'm sitting at my computer, in my own little corner, on my own little chair, (sorry Cinderella) waiting for the next customer to come up to be waited on, requiring me to get up off my chair and also distracting my thoughts.

You know, most of the time I really like my customers, well, most of them... there are always those few that makes you go "Run, Forest, Run". There is the one we have deemed as "Lizard Lips" because of his habit of standing there with his tongue sticking out as if waiting for a fly or maybe it's just to test which way the wind is blowing. Either way, it is very disconcertingly gross. And then there's the one who wants to tell you his life history at an almost inaudible tone. Trust me, it's not worth straining your eardrums for.

Most of my customers though, are funny, articulate, and have loads of info worth listening to. They are the reason I love my job. OK, here they come. Up I get and off I go! Hey, this was fun. Maybe I'll try this again after all.

First Post

I am not BBD... But I'm setting up her blog. Here it is!